Campaign for Connection: How to be a better LISTENER

Want to Be Listened To? Start by LISTENING!

At Our Seat at the Table, we believe in the transformative power of connection and understanding. That's why we are thrilled to partner with The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley as an ambassador for their Campaign for Connection. In the midst of a heightened election season, this initiative aims to reduce election season stress by focusing on personal and interpersonal well-being. By sharing their research-based concepts and tools, we hope to help our community understand different perspectives and nurture meaningful relationships.

Why Listening Matters:

In today's polarized world, it's more important than ever to bridge divides and foster connections. One of the most effective ways to do this is through compassionate listening. When we truly listen to others, we open the door to connection, mutual growth, and understanding. Here are some strategies from Greater Good Science Center to help you become a better listener and, in turn, be heard more effectively.

1. BE CURIOUS

Curiosity is the foundation of good listening. When you ask questions to encourage the other person to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings, you show that you value their perspective. This not only helps you understand them better but also makes them feel heard and respected.

How to Practice Curiosity:

·      Ask open-ended questions like, "Can you tell me more about that?" or "How did that make you feel?"

·      Show genuine interest in their answers without interrupting or redirecting the conversation to your own experiences.

2. BE PRESENT

Being present means giving your full attention to the conversation. This can be challenging in a world full of distractions, but it is crucial for meaningful communication. Focus on the speaker and try not to think about what you will say next. Instead, mentally repeat keywords and phrases that the other person shares. This keeps you connected to their message and demonstrates active listening.

How to Be Present:

·      Put away your phone and other distractions during the conversation.

·      Make eye contact and nod to show you are engaged.

·      Practice mindfulness techniques to stay focused.

3. AFFIRM FEELINGS/INTENTIONS

Affirming the speaker’s feelings and intentions shows that you recognize and validate their emotions, even if you disagree with their viewpoint. This can build trust and open the door to deeper understanding.

 How to Affirm Feelings:

·      Use phrases like, "I can see why you feel that way," or "That sounds really challenging."

·      Acknowledge their emotions without immediately offering solutions or counterarguments.

4. EXPRESS EMPATHY

Empathy is about understanding why the speaker feels or thinks the way they do. This involves putting yourself in their shoes and considering their experiences and emotions. Rather than thinking about how you would feel in their situation, focus on their perspective.

How to Express Empathy:

·      Reflect on their words and ask yourself what might have led them to their current feelings or thoughts.

·      Use empathetic statements like, "It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed," or "I understand that this is important to you."

5. USE ENGAGED BODY LANGUAGE

Your body language and gestures can convey active listening and engagement. This non-verbal communication can reinforce that you are present and interested in what the speaker is saying.

How to Use Engaged Body Language:

·      Lean slightly forward to show interest.

·      Nod in agreement or understanding.

·      Avoid crossing your arms, which can appear defensive or closed off.

By implementing all of these strategies, you can become a better listener and create a space where others feel valued and understood. This is especially important during stressful times, such as election season, when tensions can run high. Compassionate listening can help reduce stress, foster connection, and promote mutual understanding.

Join Us in the Campaign for Connection…

Over the next few months, Our Seat at the Table will be sharing more insights and skills from the Greater Good Science Center’s Campaign for Connection. We encourage you to follow along, practice these strategies, and share your experiences with us using the hashtag #ourseatatthetable. 

Let's work together to build bridges, nurture relationships, and create a more connected, empathetic world.

Follow us on Instagram @our.seatatthetable and check out @greatergoodmag for more inspiring insights from their Campaign for Connection!